Saturday, February 2, 2008

Bisque and Bread. The Recipe. The Play.

Act 1
Setting 4x11 galley kitchen

RECIPE: Saute onions in butter with spices (Dill seed, dill weed, and oregano) until translucent.

PHONE: Ring, Ring, Ring

ME: Hello? Oh, hi Mom.

BREAD MAKING SON: Where's the Basil?

ME (Gesticulating wildly toward the spice cupboard): No, no game tomorrow...

BREAD MAKING SON (Works busily in tandem with ME in our 4x11 foot galley kitchen)

ME: Oh...okay...really?...okay...Good idea, the roads might be pretty bad...

6 YEAR OLD WITH NEW NERF GUN: Look Mom, I can turn the light on and off with my darts!

BREAD MAKING SON, 6 YEAR OLD WITH NEW NERF GUN (Work busily with me in a threesome in our 4x11 foot galley kitchen)

LIGHT: On......Off......On........OFF.......

ME (moving chair BREAD MAKING SON used to climb to get bread flour and gesticulating wildly for NERF BOY to leave the 4x11 galley kitchen):Yeah, I'll let you know...Alright then.....good idea.......will do......Okay, gotta go, have a great weekend...Bye.

RECIPE: Add crushed tomatoes and chicken stock.

BREAD MAKING SON (holding bread maker, turning in circles in the 4x11 kitchen): Where should I plug this in?

ME (Turning kitchen light On, adding tomatoes and stock): In the dining room.....

RECIPE: Make roux by blending butter and flour over medium heat for 3 minutes, whisking constantly.

4 YEAR OLD (emptying a box of fizzy water in a line in front of the stove): Can I put these right here?

ME (Whisking constantly): Why?

4 YEAR OLD: I need the box.

ME (moving chair with my feet that NERF BOY used to climb to retrieve darts from flour storage space, still whiskinig): No, put them in the, Don't go in the frigde! Put them on the deck.

4 YEAR OLD (carries each bottle separately through the 4x11 galley kitchen to sliding glass door to deck)

ME (Whisking, still whisking)

4 YEAR OLD (Happily slides empty box into living room to sit in it and watch "Wheel of Fortune" plug and play video game)

Act 2

ME (Closing sliding glass door, alone in the kitchen)

RECIPE: Add roux to tomato mixture. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes.

NERF BOY: Can I watch the bread?

ME (Climbing on chair to put flour back in storage space): NO! Don't touch, it's hot!

RECIPE: Add salt, pepper, chopped parsley, honey, heavy cream and half-n-half.

LIGHT: On...Off...On...Off...On...

ME (pointing to Nerf Shooter with Whistling Darts): Give me that!

NERF BOY (Reluctantly gives up weapon, wanders into living room and joins "Wheel of Fortune game already in progress.)

ME (pouring ingredients into Nesco because it isn't fitting in soup pot and yelling into living room): Did you shovel?


ME: Did you fix the toilet seat?


ME: Can you get on that?

14 YEAR OLD BOY (looks at ME blankly):

CRICKETS: (I swear I heard crickets) Chirp, chirp, chirp...

Act 3
Crowded dining room

COMPANY: Great soup!

ME: Thanks, it was nothing.

I love a happy ending!


Anonymous said...

It was truly delicious! Thanks. Perhaps nerf boy could give me his gun, it has a lazer site and everything and I wouldn't use it to shoot at the light switches, just the pets!

Anonymous said...

okay, you have me adicted. I logged on yesturday and laughed about the math and now I find myself laughing my head off about the blog today! Thanks!

Jesusfreak said...

YA, I could see it to be nothing, just another remember..

I am loveing reading these