Friday, August 29, 2008

It's More Of A Process Than A Procedure

Any time you visit the DMV you should expect delays. Maybe I shouldn't say "you" maybe I should say "me" or "we" because I'm not certain if your DMV is as crazy as ours.

Ours is crazy and smelly. Not my favorite place to be.

Today was different somehow. Today, mixed in with the smell of irritable, overworked employees and adrenalized adolescents was the lovely fragrance of suspense. Today was the day we'd take our Errabundus Bus in for review and licensing.

We've read countless renditions of others experiences and we knew what we were to do:

Be polite
Be respectful
Don't make waves or demand anything
Kiss a$$ without appearing to
Make the staffer feel powerful yet merciful
Jump through any hoop they throw you (and do it with joy and enthusiasm)
Make them love you before they even agree to audit your handiwork

With all that in mind, the Bus rolled toward her destination with us inside cheering her on. Actually, Matt drove, I rode shotgun and we brought Hayden along just for the fun of it. (So he could close the door if it swung open and catch anything that might fall apart en route.) Hey, it was our first outing faster than idle speed.

We arrived at 12:15 pm with only minor incidents. The door unlatched a few times and the drawers in the closet would not stay closed.

"We don't do that here." Bert and Ernie, the welcoming committee conferred. "That would be a State Trooper you'd need. We have 'em here but..." The two of them stare blankly at us.

Doing my best to follow the aforementioned protocol for dealing with State Employees, I pointed out on Form MV 2103 where it stated "Any State Patrol Trooper or Inspector, Drive License Examiner, Other Designated Department Employee familiar with the requirements of s.347.44 (4) Wis. Stats. and Trans. 300.19 Wis. Administrative Rule" may inspect.

"Well, that would be Steve. Ya, Steve, he'd know"

"May we talk to Steve?"

"You don't know Steve." Replied Ernie as he left his station apparently to find Steve.

So, OK, they weren't Bert and Ernie, the guy we dealt with was Mickey. I didn't catch his partners name.

Mickey returns a few minutes later (15 or so) and tells us to fill out our MV2103 and wait for him.

After 20 minutes or so of gazing at his computer seemingly brushing up on his knowledge of the s.347.44 (4) Wis. Stats. and Trans. 300.19 Wis. Administrative Rule, he waves for us to follow him outside.

"If it was raining, I wouldn't be doing this."

He reads the criteria out loud as he circles the bus:

a) Physically removes the signs identifying the vehicle as a school bus, the lights required by s.347.25(2) and such other equipment as the department may specify by rule.

"Looks good...Could I mistake this for a school bus? No"

b) Repaints the entire vehicle to a color other than national school bus glossy yellow or any color commonly referred to as yellow.

He points to a few spots where the tape peeled off the paint.

"It reads entire vehicle, this needs to be fixed."


gbmom2407 said...

Personally...I think the "v-8 smack" would be appropriate at that moment. (I understand you have no tv and I respect that 100% if you need me to tell you what that is just let me know!!) Sorry to hear that it did not work out as planned, maybe when that paint is fixed? Did he finish so that you know if that is all you needed to do?
Happy day.

HEATHER said...

Holy bureaucrats!!!
That sucks!!!
I love the bus!!