Parenthood is tough. Sometimes when I feel conquered, whipped and mentally drained, I admittedly cry out to God, "Why have you given me these children?"
It's typically when I'm in the shower. Cuz that's the place I go to hide, no one follows me and I have a few minutes to think. Usually. Seeing that we only have one bathroom, there normally are one or two interruptions, but since everyone enjoys privacy in the bathroom we usually don't converse during these intrusions.
But I digress...
"God, why have you given me these children? Not the actual physical beings of the children, those I prayed for. It's their dispositions, their temperaments, their propensities that I find so hard to mold, teach and sometimes, since I'm being honest...endure."
And then God humbles me and answers in just the way I need to hear, "Trust me, I know what I'm doing." These words I hear from God often, when will I get it? He continues, "These children, as you so lovingly referred to them just now, are my children that have been hand picked for you to raise and care for. I don't make mistakes. Because of their dispositions, because of their temperaments and because of their propensities I gave them to you to mold and to teach. Because of your disposition, because of your temperament and because of your propensities they are a perfect fit."
And He's right...go figure... Imagine what your child would become if they were raised by someone else. Their weaknesses that are your strengths would never be boosted, your weaknesses that are their strengths would never be challenged.
Imagine your children even in a different order. I know that our #4 would not have been a good fit as an only or even a 1st. And if #2 would have been #1, we may not have ever had more! #3 has the perfect demeanor to handle middledom. #5 takes the stress away from #4 and so on. It's not Russian roulette, it's not random chance, there is a plan! God does not make mistakes! Even in the things we perceive as diminutive details.
I'm so glad someone around here knows what He's doing and so patiently reminds me, time and time again, in the way I need to hear.
"Now get out of the shower, you're wasting water."